July 5

Do you ever have one of those refining moments when you realize that life is slipping by so fast and you can’t hold on to it? My parents are dear to me; lately the realization of them aging is starting to sink in. I am seeing changes in both of them that I want to close my eyes to and see them through the eyes of a child again. When we are little we adore our parents and want their affection and feedback in all that we do. Then we start pushing them away because they don’t know anything and it is not cool to be seen with them. The miracle happens when we have our own children and only then do we realize that our parents were putting up with us during the un-cool years. This shows that research is right about the frontal lobe of the brain not developing until later adolescent years, because most teenagers think that they are putting up with their parents. I don’t want to be looking back someday and have a lot of “I wish” or “what ifs”, I want to get it right now, no regrets. My parents are special and I am going to continue to cherish all the moments that I can. The smiles, warm hugs, laughter, and even some tears along the way will be memories that I will hold in my heart always, every moment needs to be savored.

Exercise Two

I have spent a portion of my life thinking that the world’s standards are okay to live by. I cannot completely identify with what Phyllis Allen’s life was like, although I can identify with where she is. It has taken three decades to believe in the woman that I am, just as it took Phyllis until she was fifty. As I read her story I reflected upon my own trials and the journey my life has taken, each bringing me to where I am today. I love the statement she makes regarding her “wrinkles, softened muscles, and weak eyesight came the confidence that allows me to stick to a very small list of beliefs.” I can’t say that she and I see the same picture, but I wish years ago that I would of seen part of the picture that I see now. I don’t feel that we share the same small list of beliefs, I try to center mine on faith values and principles. I do believe that wisdom comes with age, as does a deeper understanding of life and purpose, I know there are exceptions, I know some.

July 3

I am sitting here this evening listening to the fireworks popping both near and far. I can hear a distant rumble of thunder and light rain hitting the window. The fireworks have been shot off consistently for the past three nights, not so many tonight I guess because of the rain. Tomorrow is the fourth; our country’s celebration where families will gather and communities will come together to celebrate. I am guessing that there will be a lot of hot dogs and hamburgers cooked on grills, I can already smell the aroma of a cookout and taste that home cooked burger hot of the grill. I can also feel the juice from a watermelon running down and dripping of my elbow, it is so sweet this time of year. And you have to make homemade ice cream; the fourth wouldn’t be the same without it. There is just something about the sound of the ice cream freezer churning and the anticipation of it being ready to eat. Kids running and playing, the smell of fireworks and a thick cloud of smoke will fill the air. The sky will be a light show in every direction, different colors, shapes and sizes; it will sound as like a war zone for several hours. Some will shoot off the really big expensive fireworks and others will settle for a smaller show with a little less bang for a little less buck. The morning after will show the signs of the festivities; all the bits and pieces will have to be cleaned up. Happy birthday America.

July 2

I love it when I can pick up the phone and call her and it seems like we just spoke yesterday. We can pick up a conversation and just run with it no matter what the subject is about. Friends like that don’t just happen every day; it takes someone very special to have that type of friendship with. I have been best friends for thirty-three years with Melissa. We became friends according to her when I saved her from being bullied in fourth grade; she has to tell this story because I don’t even remember it. We were friends from that day forward. She moved shortly after we graduated from high school, she didn’t want to but her mom was moving to Arizona and Melissa didn’t have a choice. After she lived in Arizona for a few years her mom decided to move to Arkansas, my friend stayed in Arizona because she finally had a decent job and had bought a reliable car. Her mom eventually moved back to Arizona and became her daughter’s roommate, which didn’t work out very well. During the time that her mom was in Arkansas Melissa met a guy and fell in love. After they dated for a while he got down on his knee and asked her to marry him, which was twenty years ago. Their son will graduate from high school this next school year. My family has been blessed to have the opportunity to travel and vacation with Melissa’s family. We have been to Disney Land, Las Vegas, and California twice with them. We all meet in Florida one summer and went to Disney World and watched the space shuttle launch from Coco Beach, which was a very cool experience for all of us. She has flown back to Missouri several times also to see her family and friends here. I just found out a couple of days ago that she and her son are going to make a trip back in just a couple of weeks. I am excited; it is pretty neat to have a friendship like we share and to be able to remain best friends for all these years.

July 1

Her laugh broke the silence. The immediate family sat in the front row, friends and relatives sat behind them. Most everyone was in dark attire with a few exceptions. Music could be heard playing very softly, and the lighting was low. A few moved about here and there whispering and talking amongst themselves. A constant rain outside was filtered somewhat by the roof of the building. Wet umbrellas sat at the feet of those gathered inside. A man walked in and began talking to the crowd. He spoke softly and with gentle words. He was telling a story about how he and Bill had grown up together and played in the field behind their house for hours on end. The winters they played in the snow until they couldn’t feel their fingers or toes. The two of them double dated and graduated high school together. He expressed that he felt as close to Bill as he did his own brother. When he finished another man spoke about working with Bill and his dedication to his co-workers and his firm. How Bill went above and beyond the eight-hour day, always. He spoke of how dependable and self-motivated Bill was and how any one would be honored to have him as an employee. When Bill’s wife spoke, a tear trickled down her check as she reminisced about how they met and the story they wrote together. She told of their two children and what a joy they were to raise and the blessing they were to her and Bill. She expressed how proud Bill was of them and who they had become and what they had accomplished in their lives. A woman close to the back broke out in laughter and her laugh broke the silence that had filled the room. She apologized and excused herself as she slipped out grasping her cell phone in her hand.

June 30

I trip on my way down the steps in the garage and spill my cup of coffee down the front of me. I go back into the house and change, so at this point I am running a bit behind but I think that I still have time go grab a cup of coffee in a drive through. I hop into the car and hurriedly make it to McDonalds to find a line that looks like a snake wrapping itself around the building. Forget the coffee I can get some when I get to work. Back into the line of cars we go moving like a snail towards our destinations. I cannot seem to make a green light this morning for anything. The pace of the snail picks up a bit as we move almost in unison. Finally at work and I am looking for a good spot to park, found one not to far from the door. On the way in I drop my purse and it seemed like slow motion as it tumbled through the air and crashed onto the ground. The contents went everywhere as though a bomb exploded. Just as I finish picking up my purse, I sling it back up onto my shoulder and the strap on it breaks and down it goes again, pouring the contents back out onto the ground. Once again I gather up the contents. By the time I get to my desk I am late. All I can think about it getting a cup of coffee. My boss walks by my desk and plops down a stack of papers on it and with an exasperated comment tells me he needs all of the reports done before the end of the day. I glance at the coffee maker on the counter and it is empty.

June 29

I don’t know if you have seen the movie Soul Surfer, I took my daughter to see it yesterday and we both enjoyed it. The setting of the movie was absolutely gorgeous, it is in Hawaii, how could it not be, right? I love the beach and ocean so that added to the experience for me. The movie has a good story to it, especially for pre-teens and teenage kids. It is based off a true story of a young girl that lost her arm from a shark attack in 2004; I can vaguely remember it happening. The young girl in the movie had to overcome the trials of not having two arms, but also had to struggle with why this would happen to her. She questioned it several times and asked several different people to help her try and figure it out. She did manage to surf again, one struggle accomplished and then after failing at a competition quit. She then went on a mission trip to Thailand after a tsunami hit and devastated that country. It was on this trip that she truly began to realize the bigger purpose and picture for herself. She helped a little boy who had not spoke since the tsunami and got him on a surfboard that she borrowed, a milestone for both of them. After returning back to Hawaii she started to train to surf again in another competition. This time she went about it differently, it wasn’t about winning; it was just about going out there and giving it your best even if it wasn’t going to be first place. She allowed her faith to start taking control of her life rather then trying to control it herself. Surfing was not her life and she wasn’t put here for that purpose, she realized that her accident was a way for her to connect and embrace others and show them the love she has in her heart.