cont. July 1

Her heart was racing, her legs felt like they had weights tied to them. She could feel a lump forming in her throat. Her meeting with the client had escaped her thoughts. She was beside Bill, standing there, numb. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she opened them the room started spinning. She reached for the casket and in a second’s thought grabbed the man’s arm standing by her. As she glanced up at him she noticed his attempt at a smile. She gained her composure and quietly thanked him for the use of his arm. He nodded as they walked out into a large hall together. She thanked him again and tried to explain that she wasn’t feeling well. Before she could finish he interrupted, I’m Kaydan as he held out his hand. Nice to meet you I’m Celeste. They exchanged stories of how they knew Bill; time seemed to stand still. Neither of them noticed that the crowd of people were now gone. A phone rang. As she dug in her purse for her phone she panicked. Her meeting, she was late. She grabbed her phone it was her boss. Hurriedly she told Kaydan she had to meet a client. As she ran out the door she didn’t notice the paper that cascaded to the ground. Kaydan bent down and picked it up.

cont. July 1

The hall way was silent and empty. In a hushed tone she continued talking on the phone to her boss. She felt horrible interrupting the service for her co-worker. Not taking the call meant jeopardizing her career, and all the long hours she put in to get to this point. Her boss gave her the information she needed to meet with a client after the funeral. She gathered herself and quietly went back in. She could feel the piercing glares as she sat down. Her eyes stayed focused on the minister now speaking. His lips were moving but she couldn’t comprehend what he was saying, her thoughts were on sealing the deal with her client. She needed it to move up a bit more on the ladder. She felt bad for Bill, all those hours he put in at the office. She was trying to push the thought out that kept creeping in; it was going to be a little easier now without Bill to compete with. How horrible. Stop. Focus. The self-talk wasn't working. The crowd was starting to stir as they made their way to the front to pay their respects. One by one they paused, and moved on. She felt so sorry for his wife and family. She met them at a company Christmas party, they seemed so happy together. It was her turn. As she walked towards Bill she could feel her hands getting cold and clammy. Flashbacks of her life, friends, and family flashed through her head.

July 10

My daughter went on a camping trip to Arkansas with the youth from our church over spring break. Let me correct that, it was a backpacking trip. Backpacking means stuffing the least amount that you can live on for several days into a contraption that is strapped to your body and becomes your soul source of survival. Never having been on a backpacking adventure, I knew little in helping her prepare. A suggested list of survival items assisted us in preparing. Let me remind you that she is thirteen, that in itself should be enough said. Hotels, condos, swimming pools, air conditioning, running water, fresh towels, are all essentials that she is used to on vacation. When gathering the survival items I knew this expedition was going to prove to be interesting for her. The morning of, backpacks had to be weighed in. Sleeping, living accommodations, clothes, food and water all strategically place to balance the load. Twenty-eight pounds, that was before the “ugly” water bladder was included. So off they went. Three days and two nights of pure nature, no cell phone, running water, or electricity.

July 9

I have decided that vacations should be mandatory. This is the first summer in several years that we have not gone somewhere for vacation. I miss it. My daughter took a school trip to Washington D.C. at the beginning of summer and a mission trip with our church to help with children’s ministries in Nashville, Tennessee a week after her D.C. trip. The new tires look good on the car also. That is why a vacation is not happening this summer. It seems like stress from the spring has carried over into summer. Between work, school, and life, just too much going on all at one time. Getting away recharges the batteries and makes the stressors not so stressful. I know we all come back to the stress after the getaway, but it changes how we handle it. It is great to wake up somewhere and take in the sights and smells of something different, not the ordinary. To forget what a washer and dryer are, and be so caught up in where you are that the T.V. doesn’t get turned on. Next year vacation is going to be mandatory at our house.

July 8

We watched the orange glow get smaller and smaller. The sun beat down from a gorgeous blue sky. The sand was sizzling hot. Big umbrellas tried to mask the heat. The smell of the ocean was carried by a warm breeze as waves crashed on the beach. Bronzed bodies and colorful towels lined the beach like a carpet. A cruise ship sat far out in the deep turquoise water. Body boards skimmed the tops of white-capped waves as they fell to the shore. As the day matured, the crowed grew. The sun’s intense heat was starting to relax as it sank in the distance. You could feel the anticipation as everyone waited. Finally it was time. Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, the crowd chanted, two, one, lift off. The space shuttle was stripping off all that was around it on take off. It was huge and the sound thundered all around. The crowd cheering wildly as we watched it head towards the blue sky. Flashes like lighting as cameras captured the moment. Time seemed to stand still as we watched it climb, we were awestruck in the making of history that afternoon. Higher and higher it went as we watched the orange glow get smaller and smaller.

July 7

It has been a relaxing day, nothing melted down, got broke or anything worse. Ran some errands, got the oil changed in the car and ate supper out with my family. Summer just seems to set a different pace then any other time of the year. Maybe it’s because there doesn’t have to be an alarm clock going off before six-o’clock every morning, and then a mad rush to get out the door to school and work. There is something relaxing about just sitting by the pool and feeling the warm sun, almost therapeutic for me. I just love not having such a structured schedule. I am struggling this evening to stay focused on writing, my mind is flashing through all the things I need to get done. Oh, our dryer went out Tuesday evening and of course it had a load of wet towels in it. Hopefully it is a fuse, and nothing more. They just don’t make things like they use to. They used to base their reputation on how good their products were and the longevity of them, now they want you to replace them after a few years. It is so crazy how things just keep evolving. I am in hopes that tomorrow evening I will be more in tune with my writing. It reminds me of Diane Keaton in Something’s Gotta Give when she is at her beach house in a room full of windows and if I remember she has a view of the beach and ocean. She is an author in the movie and is there to get inspired and write. I think if I were looking out at the beach and ocean right now I would be inspired, but probably not to write.

July 6

Have you ever had one of those days that everything just fell apart? I didn’t have one of those days; I had one of those half hours. Everything was going fine, I was working on English and my daughter and her friend headed outside to play on the trampoline with the sprinkler. I had just taken a break to fix some lunch when my daughter opens the back door to tell me that her friend was hurt. Seriously, it had only been like ten minutes. I hurriedly went out and had my daughter shut the sprinkler off. Her friend was lying on the trampoline crying and holding her leg. I am thinking to myself, how serious could this be in the little time they were out here? I asked her where it hurt and if she could tell me what happened. Somehow between sniffles and tears she managed to tell me that her leg hurt above her ankle. That pretty much ruled out it being a sprain. I managed to get her from the trampoline to a bench close by to sit down and get a better look at her leg. This was going to require a phone call to her mom. When she arrived we became human crutches, slowly working our way to the car. My neighbor who was watching us in our attempt came over and asked if we wanted to use her hov-around, she is diabetic and her neuropathy has made it almost impossible for her to get around with out it. We took her up on her offer and got her positioned by the house so she could lean and not have her full weight on her legs. We managed to get my daughter’s friend to the car. I am navigating the hov-around from the side as I take it back to my neighbor. As I pull it up to her I go too far and hit her leg, so I am apologizing and trying to back it up as she starts to lean on it. It is backing up and I can’t get it to stop while my neighbor is falling to the ground. It seems like it happened in slow motion. I just wanted to cry.